Hi, I’m Cece V. Call me Cece. No, that is not exactly my real name, but for the purposes of our journey my government name is not necessary. I am 31 years old with a husband of 6 years, a super energetic 3-year-old boy, and two very eccentric dogs. My home life is full. Very full. I work in higher education and my husband is a teacher. We spend our days helping people become the person they were meant to be…at least that’s what we want to do every day. Really, we deal with complaining and screaming, and resistance all day.
At home, it’s nonstop chasing the kid and dogs. Did I mention that I am the only female in my home? No doubt I am the queen, but most days I feel like the Ward of the Crazy House. Trust me, if you’d ever call me in the evening, you would know that description is accurate. On top of my futile attempts at keeping order, you’d hear screaming, wrestling, barking, loud music, and many booms and crashes. But I love my boys, all four of them. Still, being a mom, wife, and career woman has left me feeling…
Those tags are not enough. My day-to-day life is not enough. I am bored to tears, feeling unfulfilled and wondering when I became so invisible and lifeless. Right now, I might as well be wall paper. Sometime last year I decided that was unacceptable. A few friends thought my “unique perspective” and insight were valuable, so they asked me to do what I used to do best. Write. Write about life. I decided that I wouldn’t just write about my life but chronicle my journey to the woman in my head.
I know you think it’s a rather unusual description, journey to the me in my head. Okay, it’s weird and long. I get that. However, it is completely accurate. I don’t want to be like anyone else; I want to be me, but better. Truthfully, I realized I didn’t exactly want to be the old me because 25-year-old Cece, though fearless, sexy, and ambitious, had some things she needed to figure out. And I don’t want to be current me because this chick is boring me to tears. And honestly, she yells a lot and has a muffin top.
Make no mistake, I like who I am as a person. What I do not like is the…everything else. The actions, or lack of, the day-to-day, the feeling of bleak nothingness. The woman in my head is a perfect blend of young, fearless, sexy me, and current insightful wiser me, and with a bunch of awesome upgrades that I’d like to install. Author. Exerciser. Meditator, etc.
I’m inviting you to join me on my journey to blending all the versions of myself to create the me I’ve always wanted to be.
We start here.