Behind The Door of Apartment 1A

I wrote this poem when I was in high school. It could use some work, but I left it untouched. Though to be honest, the fear of someone critiquing my 14 year old self is pretty strong.

The poem is about the struggles between the inner self (ideal self) and actual self and untapped potential. It’s a depiction of how people long to be more, are more, but allow fear to keep them locked in their safe bubble. I struggled with this as a kid and wrote the poem with a small hope my adult self would be better. For the most part, I am. But in so many ways I’m the same 14-year-old girl who wrote this as a reminder to myself to reach higher and stop hiding. As my potential grows, another set of fear creeps in and I create another safety bubble. Then I pop it, make moves and well… Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Behind The Door Of Apartment 1A

She sits on the throne
Pondering, wondering
Conquering worlds and hearts
In her mind

She talks on the phone
Speaking knowledge and wisdom
Hidden behind profanity and Baltimorean dialect
She heals, she hurts, she opens doors

She sheds tears
Her only release of frustration anxiety
Pain

She holds back her strength
She bits her tongue
She smothers the light…why

She nurtures the children, but
They don’t understand
Maybe, maybe they’ll remember

She pens the door to eternity
But no one reads it
She doesn’t believe they will get it

She sings a path to salvation
In her bathroom
Who will it save…
No one

She loves with all her heart
But she doesn’t show it
How will they know…
She hopes they know

What she says is becoming a reality
Is it a gift…
That depends on what she says

She holds back her strength
She bits her tongue
She smothers the light…why

She won’t let history repeat itself
She aspires to make the change
Can she do it is the question

She sits on a throne
Wondering, Pondering
Pondering, Wondering

Stopping crimes
Preventing wars
Finding cures
Drying tears
Easing fears
Making this world a better place

Saving souls
Conquering worlds and hearts
In her mind
In her room

Behind the door of apartment 1A

 

Photo by @Pixabay from nappy.co

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