It is Okay to Not be Okay

I’m sorry I’ve been away for a bit. I have been struggling with lethargy and fatigue for the last few weeks. No, I’m not sick. I was just tired, all the way down to my soul. I woke up, went to my computer and proceeded to do this sloppy juggling of home and work life. Then I went to bed but could not sleep, so I stayed up until after 2. Every day. For three weeks.

Should I have been blogging? Yes. Or maybe editing my book? Sure. Meditating or exercising? Those were options too. Maybe I should have just tried to read the nine books I have in the queue, waiting for me. Or, I could have journaled out my feelings, so I could bounce back sooner.

I could have done a lot of things. Things I write about. Things I always do to snap myself out of slumps. But I didn’t. I did not want to because I needed to take the time to settle into this new reality.

The truth is I am not depressed, sad, sick, or unhappy. I am tired. I think maybe, the lack of separation between home and work makes compartmentalizing nearly impossible. As it turns out, that ability to compartmentalize actually allows for a mini-mind break. With things all blended together, there is no out.

That is my very rational explanation for simply doing the essentials for the last 3 weeks.

The non-rational explanation? I could not make myself do anything that wasn’t strictly necessary to keep my family and myself alive, healthy, and sane. And you know what? For the first time in my life, I make no apologies for that.

There’s a slew of lessons this year has tossed in my lap, but that one is the one I think we all need to take to heart right now.

Make no apologies about choosing to be in survival mode.

So many people are trying to maintain the status quo by going to the store 17 times a week, or ignoring social distancing mandates, or overworking.

In case you were not aware, there is no status quo right now. Nothing is normal. Nothing is the same. The universe did not write a manual before throwing this at us. There are no rules for this game we’ve found ourselves in. Someone called 2020 Jumanji. And you know what, we are all in the jungle waiting until someone rolls five or eight. So until those magic numbers hit, we need to make like Alan Parrish (Robin Williams) and adapt.

No matter the country you reside in, stage of this your in, or situation at home, know that it is perfectly okay to not be okay. It is also okay to be okay. And it is equally acceptable to hover somewhere in between. Just know you are not alone.

Photo by Pixabay