They Just Can’t. Forgiveness Part II

“Adulthood is like looking both ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by an airplane.”–Unknown

A few days ago a friend sent me a tweet that made forgiveness seem less like an act of God and more like an act of kindness. @EboneeDavis posted, “Don’t take it personal when people can’t show up for you they way you want them to. Truthfully, most people have a hard time just showing up for themselves.”

Parents. Lovers. Siblings. Friends. Coworkers. Everyone. They are all just trying to live. Trying to work out, or out run, their own box of terribles. How arrogant is it to constantly judge and hate others while simultaneously hoping that people know us enough to see we mean no harm? A person cannot give what he does not have. Life is tough. Adulting is hard as hell. And most people are trying their damnedest to be a good person, make it through life in one piece, and be better.

I used to have what I thought was a wise retort when people accused me of being cynical or having trust issues. “I do trust people. I trust them to be themselves and act in character.” Meaning, I trust that my best friend, my sister of the heart, will always be no less than 20 minutes late to everything. So we joke about it instead of getting annoyed.

Sometimes our disappointments come from asking more of people than they can reasonably give. We expect others to be more perfect than ourselves. We secretly hope  the people in our lives will be all the things we lack. I think most people still believe they are the only person who is totally confused and stumbling through life.

Wrong.

“That horrifying moment when you’re looking for an adult, but you realize you are an adult. So you look around for an older adult. An adultier adult. Someone better at adulting than you.” —Unknown

I’m going to help us all out. If you have a relationship with a sentient being–dog, rabbit, snake, or person–you will be disappointed at least once in the duration of that relationship. And you will also disappoint.

It’s okay. All you have to do is forgive, learn the lesson, and move forward.

“Just keep swimming.”

—Dori, Finding Nemo